Kij’s Amazing Excuses

Kij is known in the band as being the one with 101 excuses for everything; in the band’s case these include reasons for not being able to come to practice, having to leave practice early, etc.  We got such a kick out of them that we’ve decided to include them here on our webpage (We like giving Kij crap.).  Compiled here is a list of his most memorable excuses.  THESE ARE NOT MADE UP; THESE ARE ACTUAL EXCUSES KIJ HAS GIVEN US OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS.  We’ve left out the standard “I’m sick”, “I’ve got to work”, ”I’m gonna be out of town”, etc., and just left the ones we thought were downright funny.  We will keep this page updated as Kij comes up with new, exciting excuses (Don’t worry, he will.).  Stay tuned…….

1.      “I’ve gotta leave practice by 9:00, I need to make a phone call.”

2.      “I need to go run an errand.”  This was a good one; We were in the middle of a sound check for a gig.  His cell phone rang, and he was gone.  He showed up again about a half an hour later with a smile on his face.  It’s anyone’s guess as to what exactly that “errand” was.

3.      “I can’t practice tonight; I forgot that I’ve got to sub for a guy for something.”  Note that we practice EVERY Monday night.  This was on a Monday. 

4.      “My ass hurts.”  We’ll let this one slide a little bit; He DID have to play drums with a rubber donut on his seat for a couple of weeks.  Ouch…….

5.      “I’m gonna be late for practice tonight: I need to deliver a mattress to my honey’s house for her kid - They don’t know about it!”  Huh?

6.      “We were supposed to practice tonight?”  Again: Monday

7.      “I’m sore.” From what, we’re not sure.  He says it’s from playing drums the weekend before………….

8.      “We’re celebrating a buddy’s birthday on Monday.  His birthday is on Tuesday, but we’ve decided to celebrate it on Monday.”  Monday (again):  Are we sensing a trend here?  Maybe we should switch practice to Wednesdays.

9.      “I’m tired”  Pretty lame; He must have been having an off week.

10. “I can’t practice.  I’m not telling you why, ‘cause you guys will just give me s**t.”

11. "I have to go to a bachelor party." We ask who it's for. "A good friend of mine." What's his name? "I can't remember." Are you going to the wedding? "I think so." Were you invited? "Verbally."

12. "I stopped at the gas station to get gas, and they said my credit card was no good. So I went home to call the credit card company, they couldn't help me out, so I ended up having to go back to the gas station with my checkbook."

13. "I have a CPR class for work tonight." We later found out that the class was optional.

14. "I noticed I have a broken window in my apartment." This was another Monday excuse. He showed up for practice almost two hours late!

15. We asked Kij if he could leave an evening early for an out-of-town gig. "I have a ride-along scheduled with the Highway Patrol." Huh?

If you can supply us with any other excuses you have heard Kij use, we would be glad to hear from you!
Please email us with the goods.